Thursday, March 3, 2016

Let's Talk About Sex

The discussion with Dr. Celeste Holbrook today and this week's readings on consent got me thinking about how important it is to talk about sex, yet society reinforces the idea that wanting to talk about sex is taboo. Sex is one of the most natural human activities in the world, but we aren't allowed to talk about it. And often, talking about it would save us from the pain, embarrassment, or confusion that can accompany sex. Dr. Holbrook framed sex as something that is, when done right, meant to empower us, not make us feel ashamed or upset. 
I found an interesting article that talks about a different kind of consent that what we normally think of and different than the one mentioned in "Yes means Yes." In "How to Say 'Yes!' to Sex (and not just 'OK only if you shut up about it')," Jacqueline Hellyer talks about how saying "Yes!" to sex in an enthusiastic and wholehearted way "is really saying “Yes!” to yourself as someone deserving of love, pleasure and adoration. Saying “Yes!” to sex is saying “Yes!” to love. It’s saying “Yes!” to life." I think that often times we let conservative and negative views on sex influence how we feel about it which in turn makes us ashamed to say "Yes!" 
So, not only should we be more open to talking about sex, but the conversation needs to change to be something more empowering, uplifting, and real.

1 comment:

  1. I definitely agree that the conversation on sex needs to change. Dr. Holbrook’s lecture was very eye opening. I learned about sex from a book my mother gave me. Granted, she was the one to teach me about it and I didn’t have to learn through my peers. However, that certainly taught me that sex, and even puberty and periods, are something you don’t talk about, not even with the people you’re closest to (this mindset could be especially problematic for anyone who needs to talk about sex with their partner).
    I don’t necessarily agree with the article though. The way I understood it, it said that to get to the point where you are no longer agreeing to sex reluctantly, you have to start by agreeing to sex reluctantly. I don’t think that is going to get anyone anywhere. In order to get past reluctance, you need to get past the shame that some people may feel when they have sex.
    I think that if we are trying to create a culture where sex is seen for what it is, we need to start talking about it and making sure that we raise our kids to not be ashamed about their sexuality. We need to change the way society views sex.
    Like you said, “the conversation needs to change to be something more empowering, uplifting, and real.” I really agree with that.