Thursday, January 28, 2016

In class earlier this week we were lucky enough to have a presentation from Lindsay Klatckins.  For a portion of the presentation we discussed the reasons as to why women leave there relationships to go to shelters such as Safe Haven, which is where Lindsay works.  I know we did not talk about domestic violence that much, but for the little time that we did, my brain recalled this video that I had seen a few years ago.  In this video, a woman is pictured everyday for a year and it shows the different wounds this woman had attained through being in an abusive relationship.  I was one of the people who always questioned that "if this was going on so much, why did they not just leave their partner?"  In class Dr. Lowry clarified for me that these relationships go through a cycle in which there is a honeymoon stage, an abusive stage, an apologetic stage, and then it just keeps happening over and over again which traps the woman in that relationship.  I was interested in this link because after watching the video, the woman's facial expressions perfectly resemble this cycle that we discussed in class.  Let me explain myself.  She goes through a series of pictures for 5-7 seconds where she is smiling and showing no signs of being abused, and then BAM! Suddenly a scab or bruise would appear on her face.  Then, as the video goes on she keeps repeating this cycle of being happy (in the honeymoon stage) and then back into the wounded abusive stage. 
I never realized the amount of factors that played into a woman leaving an abusive relationship.  What if he comes after me?  What if the kids hate me for it?  What if he catches me packing up and hits me again?  I can not even begin to imagine the amount of stress and pain that someone in this situation must go through and that is why I am so interested in visiting the Safe Haven shelter in order to try and bring some happiness and relief from a bad situation to these woman and there children.


  1. JR,

    This video is very powerful for many reasons! Although just a minute long, it makes a strong point. During the first few seconds I watched the video I kept asking myself where on her body was she hurt, it was harder to see, but as the pictures went on the physical abuse was very noticeable. I think this video can give us some insight on the type of situation that you described first it's just a scratch, but it quickly escalates to a dangerous situation.
    I also noticed that the rapid changing of the pictures can represent what the woman is feeling in her head...just rapid confused thoughts.

    Thanks for sharing this clip! I too am excited to reach out to these woman and there children and hopefully make a small difference in their lives.

  2. Wow! This clip is incredibly powerful. Here's a link to an article from the National DV Hotline that calls into question the theory of the "cycle of violence": The comments below do a great job of showing the way different people who work in the anti-DV movement talk to folks about patterns of violence in intimate partner relationships.